What am I saying? I don’t know the date, there’s no night, no day, just one endless existence. This craft I’m in seems to have no windows no doors. I’ve been told there’s nothing to see, but I’d like to see for myself.
Jovie is nearly three weeks old now, he’s so beautiful, well what I’ve seen of him. Justin takes him from me, uses him to keep me in check, giving him to that cat woman, thingy. I hate the way she handles my son, but Justin trusts her … more than he trusts me it seems. I want to go home, I only came with Justin because I was scared … hell you’d be scared too if you were male and suddenly found yourself pregnant.
He’ll be here soon and he’ll bring that creature he calls a doctor with him, they keep filling me full of drugs. Lance, I think that’s his name said they were just vitamins to build me up after my ordeal, but I don’t think they are. My captor has sex with me every chance he gets and I can’t resist him … I want to … but I can’t. I just want to go home and take Jovian with me … please god let me go home.
Sapphire chewed her lip knowing that she was reading her poppa’s private journal, but her curiosity was too great. She flipped over a some pages, pausing and reading again.
I’m so sick, I can’t seem to shake this incredible nausea. I can eat, I can’t sleep, even water makes me vomit. I don’t know if it’s motion sickness or what. The last time I felt like this was when I fell for Jovian … no, oh please no, I can’t be … can I? Jovian isn’t even 12 weeks old!
The 15 year old stopped reading, unable to take the despair in her father’s words. She opened towards the centre of the book.
He screwed me! That bastard screwed me … I know this feeling … I know it too well. How could he! I trusted him, he swore to me the pills would stop me conceiving … I can’t do this … not again … not again…..
Tears ran slowly down Sapphire’s delicate cheeks as she realised that her poppa was talking about her, she knew most of what had happened … of course she did. In a telepathic community it was hard to keep secrets, but seeing it there, in black and white broke her heart. She tossed the book from her and it landed open on the floor, once more her nosy nature got the better of her so she picked it back up and read the entry.
I can’t believe it … a girl, a little girl. She is so beautiful, when I nearly lost her I was so afraid. All I could think of was Ebony, I lost her and now I was losing Sapphire too. Lance tells me that that’s it, that there can be no more … he told Justin as well, not that I think he takes notice of anything that anyone tells him. But lance said I’m too damaged, that he had to take the womb away … now it’s gone I feel a loss so great. I’ll never have that feeling of nurturing a life inside of me ever again. What a hypocrite I turned out to be. I lost it completely when I fell with Sapphiee, and now I’m crying for the children I won’t have, no wonder Justin uses me as he does .. I’d be a fool to believe he really loves me. For a while I dreamed that he would love me … sweep me off my feet … marry me, but I guess it will never happen … why buy the cow when you already own the milk. I want to be married .. For him to love me like I love him …. Marry me Justin.
Sapphire closed the journal and slipped it into her pants pocket. Pushing the box carefully back under the bed she hurried out to look for her brothers, she wanted them to see this too.
As she reached the communal area, she could see her uncle Chris talking to the children that were already playing or working there. Walking slowly and with her ears pricked Sapphire sidled into the throng.
“We will be holding a meeting tomorrow at high sun, all of you will attend, its very important.” Chris ruffled Claude’s dark hair as the little boy hugged his leg, “Dad can I come too? Can I come to the meeting.?”
Chris swung the lad into the air, tickling him till he giggled hysterically. “Yes you can come. But it will be boring, boring, boring. I bet you would rather play swings.”
“Is it about the pods uncle?” Jovian asked in a quiet voice.
“Yeah it is, now don’t go discussing it till tomorrow, we don’t want the little ones to have nightmares.” Chris walked off with his five year old tossed over his shoulder.
“So what about the pods?” Jaden asked.
Jovian shook his head. “No uncle said we weren’t to talk about it till tomorrow, so leave me alone. And you can stop that Gem!”
Jewel brought his hand up to his chest in mock horror. “What? What did I do?”
“You think I didn’t feel you prodding about in my head? Keep out! Or pregnant or not pregnant I’ll punch your lights out.” Jovian clenched his fists and brought them up ready to use them if he had too. He was pushed hard from the side and Joshua stepped in between him and Jewel.
“You’ll have to go through me first Jovian!”
Sapphire pushed between both boys her mouth set in a thin line. “Stop it both of you! God there’s way too much testosterone flying around lately, the sooner you get laid Jovie the better for all of us.” Jovian bristled and blushed scarlet as his brothers sniggered at his discomfort. “Anyway,” Sapphire continued “I have something to show you.” She pulled the leather bound book from her pocket. “Look what I found.”
Jovian snatched it from her hand and opened it. His eyes widened as he read. “This is poppa’s, you shouldn’t have taken it Blue, It’s his private journal.
Jaden grabbed the book, reading it.
“Give it back Den.” Jovian tried to grab it as Jaden threw it to Jared. “I said give it back, come on Red its not funny, poppa will be so hurt if he knew we had it.” The red head sighed, knowing that his older brother was right, he handed it back to the brunette, who in turn gave it back to Sapphire. “Put it back where you found it Blue.”
The fifteen-year-old girl stuffed it back in her pocket. “Alright I will. but before I do, do any of you know what marry me means? Poppa says it to daddy in this book, he said I want to be married, marry me Justin.”
“I do” all eyes turned to Joshua. “Its when two people promise to love each other and stay together for the rest their lives.” He blushed under Jewels inquisitive stare. “I researched human customs and found out about it, I was going to ask you to marry me.”
Jewel blushed furiously. “You … you were! oh Josh yes! … yes please.” The two lovers held hands tightly and kissed.
While Jaden, Jared and Jaren made silly kissing noises, Sapphire stomped her foot to get the attention back to her. “Nooo, I was thinking that daddy should marry poppa. Look in his journal poppa says all the time that he doesn’t think daddy loves him, and he really, really wants to get married. I thought we should persuade daddy to marry poppa.”
Jewel pulled away from his young lover. “Do you think he would?”
Sapphire smiled “He would if you asked him Gem”
“Me! I’m the last person he’ll listen to after this.” He pointed at his ample belly.
“You can do it Gem, we have faith in you.”
“Only if y’all come with me.” The siblings agreed, they would tackle their father first thing in the morning. Then they could give their beloved poppa a day he would never forget.