What if?

That was what my life now consisted of. What if.

What if I hadn’t kissed Stevie in his kitchen and got caught by his mom? What if my parents hadn’t thrown me out? And what if I hadn’t gone to LA and met Sam and let him talk me into going to that party? What if I hadn’t have met Justin? No. That was one ‘what if’ I would never change. Justin was my life, my soul, I loved him.

(2½ years earlier)

“Josh maybe it would be a good idea if you were to move out?”

I stared at my mom, trying to comprehend what she had just said to me. My dad sat in his chair his eyes fixed on the TV, he grunted his approval and flipped channels, his feeling on the subject loud and clear.

“But mom.. Why?”

I didn’t really have to ask, I already knew why. I was gay; their perfect son had been discovered in the kitchen of a neighbour’s house making out with their 16-year-old son.

“Now honey you just can’t stay here.” My mother rolled her eyes at the sad look on my face. “”Its not like you are a little boy anymore, Time to cut those apron strings.”

I straightened my back, pretending not to feel the tremble in my jaw and the stinging in my eyes. No I wasn’t a little boy, but I wasn’t a man either, I was eighteen and I had no job and nowhere to live. “When do you want me to go?” My voice was thick with grief, they both must have heard it, but they just didn’t care.

My mother walked towards the kitchen turning her back on me. “I took the liberty of packing a bag for you while you were at school. I’d like it if you were gone before Heather and Tyler came home from their classes.”

Until that moment I hadn’t noticed my duffle bag leaning against the wall in the hallway.

“Can’t I even say goodbye?”

“Its best not to honey, they wouldn’t understand.”

I swallowed hard, they wouldn’t understand, I didn’t understand, how could my mother, the woman who had given birth to me so coolly and calmly tell me to get out of her life. I picked up the rough bag and stood waiting for her to beg me not to leave, praying she would, but she just waltzed into the kitchen dismissing me as casually as she would a stranger.

“I’ll call you, when I find somewhere, let you know where I am.”

“No need honey.” She shouted back from the kitchen. She poked her head back into the hallway and my heart lightened expectantly. “I’ll take your key now.” She held out her hand and numbly I put the small brass latchkey into her wet palm. “Make sure you close the door honey when you leave.” Then she was gone.

I stood and stared at the back of my fathers’ head as he watched the television, waiting for him to say something, to tell her she was being too hard, but he never did. So I shouldered my bag and stepped out into the Bowie evening light and walked away.

I never looked back.

I caught the greyhound, I just pointed to the map and said ‘One-way to there please.’ The clerk took my money and I climbed on the first bus heading west, a few days later I was in LA, I had no money, no friends and nowhere to live. For the first time in my life I was alone and I hated it.

First thing I tried was to get a job, but with no fixed address no one would take me on. So I sank into a vicious circle, living rough, going for any job, no matter how degrading, being turned down because I was homeless. I just went round and round.

I took to begging just to eat. At my lowest I would raid bins outside fast food joints, stealing away what scraps I could, sinking deeper and deeper into the quagmire of life.

So when Sam approached me and asked me if I wanted to make a few bucks I snapped his hand off.

He seemed so kind, giving me forty buck up front so I could get a room, shower and change into some clean clothes. He passed me the address, smiling. “Just be there for eight, dress nice.”

“And I get paid? Just for turning up?”

“Turning up and looking pretty for my guests. By the way most of the boys don’t use their real names for these things so go with a nickname.” He smiled at me again. “Don’t look so worried Josh, its easy money believe me.”

I should have known at the time there is no such thing, but I was naive enough to believe him. Excited just to be able to take a shower again I rushed to get ready for my ‘date’.

I rang the doorbell to the big house, high on the Hollywood Hills. I handed Sam’s card to the doorman who led me to a huge room full of people, all drinking and laughing, some deep in conversation, some just staring peacefully into space. Out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of the most beautiful boy I had ever seen, short dirty blond curls covered his head and his azure eyes sparkled mischievously as he listened intently to his companion, nodding attentively. He looked up and gazed at me for less than a minute, but in that time I felt like he had undressed me and rubbed his hands all over me. I gulped and reached for a glass of champagne that was being carried past me by a waiter.

Sam‘s hand stopped me “No Josh, you’re here to work not enjoy yourself.”

Sam stood before me in his tux; next to him was a short extremely over weight man wearing glasses, who was sweating profusely. “Lou this is JC, JC this is Lou Pearlman. I told him you would love to keep him company tonight JC.”

I nodded and reached out my hand. “Its nice to meet you Mr Pearlman”

“Don’t just stand there boy!” Sam snapped. “Get Mr Pearlman a drink.”

I dropped my hand and muttered, “Yes sir.” I hurried off and secured a glass of champagne for the nasty looking man I had to spend the next hour or so making small talk with.

Lou told me about his business, providing private jets for people who could afford them, I listened pretending to be interested, every now and then I’d let my eyes wonder to where the beautiful youth was still chattering away, beaming brightly.

I jumped and pushed away the fat fingers that had begun to knead my ass. “Please don’t do that.”

Lou looked fit to burst; he spluttered and puffed, striding over to where Sam was talking to a small group of women in the corner. He spoke quietly and animatedly to the host, waving his podgy hands around. My heart began to race as Sam excused himself and stormed over to where I stood, grabbing my arm savagely and dragging me from the room. My head cracked against the wall as he slammed me against it. I whimpered as pain exploded inside my head.

“Lou tells me you won’t co-operate.” He hissed.

“I … I.. He grabbed my … my ass.“ I stammered my answer trying to focus on the irate man.

“I don’t give a fuck what he grabs, you are being paid to be nice, so BE nice.”

It suddenly dawned on me what he really meant, I shook my head, “No, Sam no … I don’t want to, you never said I had to do that.”

He grabbed me by my upper arms digging his fingers into my flesh. “What did you think you were here for gutter rat? I employed you as a Party-boy. Now Lou wants to party, so you take his fat ass up those stairs and you give him what he wants, understand?”

I shook my head wildly, struggling to escape. A balled up fist sank into my stomach winding me, then again causing me to bend double against the pain. Sam grabbed a handful of my hair and dragged me towards a bathroom, pushing me inside. “Clean yourself the fuck up, then get your scanky little ass back over to Mr Pearlman. He shook a threatening finger at me. “If he tells me that you didn’t please him, bruised ribs will be the last of your worries.” He slammed the door closed leaving me in the sparkling clean bathroom.

I bent over the sink and splashed cold water over my face panting, I swallowed the bile that was rising in my throat. I had no choice, I was going to have to please the fat bastard. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and wondered how did I come to this?

There was a small tap at the door and it opened a little. “Can I come in?” It was the gorgeous youth with the blond curls. “I saw Sammy yank you in here, I just wondered if you were ok.”

I nodded. “I’m fine, thank you.”

“No you’re not.” He said knowingly. He held out his hand. “I’m Randy”

“Excuse me?” I blushed deeply thinking he was propositioning me.

“My name. Randy, you know short for Randall, Well its Justin really but I work under the name of Randy, and I’m babbling aren’t I?” He flushed pink and lowered his eyes gazing coyly at me through his thick lashes. “What’s your name?”

“Joshua, well Josh.”

“Is that your working name?”

“No that’s JC.”

“Its nice to meet you JC.” He looked me in the eye. “You didn’t know what a Party-boy was did you?”

“No.” My cheeks burned with embarrassment.

“Shit. Sam must have know that you were a newbie, that’s why he’s given you to Pearlman, that fat fuck like ‘em fresh.” He shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled out a small single blister pack containing a small white pill. “I was going to take it myself that’s what I came in for, but you need it more.”

He held the drug out to me. “Take it”

“No thanks I don’t take drugs.”

“That’s very commendable Jace but take it, I been with fat ass out there you will need it, it’ll take the edge off help you believe you are with someone else, it’ll numb the pain.” he slipped it into my pocket despite my protests.

“What the fuck is going on in here?” Sam burst through the bathroom door and grabbed us both by the hair thrusting us out into the main room. “I pay your sleazy Asses to work not to chat amongst yourselves. Randy get back to senator Casey. And you slut get back to Lou, he’s waiting for you upstairs the room at the end of the landing.” He twisted my head so I had to look at him. “Don’t forget what I said gutter rat.”

I mumbled my reply and ran up the stairs as soon as he released me.

I tapped softly on the door. “Come.” The room was dimly lit, Lou stood next to the liquor cabinet pouring himself a large JD. He picked up his cigar and took a puff, holding it between his fat fingers. I controlled my urge to gag. “I’d about given up on you Chicken.” The fact he had called me chicken was not lost on me.

“Close the door, lock it then take off your clothes.” He downed his malt and poured himself another one. self-consciously I stripped, shaking as I pulled down my boxers. He walked round me, appraising my body. “Skinny little bit of pussy aren’t you.” He sneered. Get on the bed, up on all fours, I wanna see how tight you are first.”

Hesitatingly I obeyed hanging my head in shame as his clammy hands groped at my rear. His podgy digit slid into my ass crack and rubbed at my opening a little before pushing inside me. I groaned biting back the burning sensation as my ass was fingered for the first time in my life.

“Mr Pearlman.”

“What?” He snapped.

“May I go to the bathroom a minute, please I feel a little woozy. I just want some water I’ll come straight back I promise.”

“Go on then, but only cus I don’t want you passing out on me.” He slapped my ass hard making me yelp. I grabbed my pants and hurriedly locked myself into the en-suite, quickly I rummaged round in my pocket and found the pill, Randy had been right, I was going to need to dull the pain, Lou was anything but gentle. I popped it out of its foil packaging and swallowed it, washing it down with a mouthful of water. It was only after, I realised I didn’t have a clue what it was. Well it was too late now. I composed myself and unlocked the bathroom door. I smiled sweetly at the repulsive overweight bore, gritting my teeth and still smiling I climbed back on the bed, assuming the position I had been in before. “Now” I purred “you were going to check how tight I was.”

The little white pill did its job and within fifteen minutes I was flying high, it didn’t matter what the fat fuck did to me, I was numb, I just had to make the right noises in the right places. Even when he took his belt to my balls I felt nothing. He used every inch of me, fucking my ass, my mouth.

I became really scared when he tied my hands behind my back and put a plastic bag over my head taping it to my neck. He fucked me while I struggled to breath, suffocating in its clear confines. Only when he had come did he push the tip of his finger through the tough plastic into my mouth. I sucked as much air into my lungs as I could before he thrust his short uncut dick through the tiny opening and into my mouth. “Clean me.” He demanded. I sucked at his softening member as best I could, knowing the quicker I pleased him the quicker I would get oxygen.

When he was satisfied he was clean he laid back on the bed gathering the quilt round him and went to sleep, leaving me to gasp at the small hole. He used me again when he woke up, abusing me till I begged for mercy then when he had finished with me he untied my hands and dragged me out into the hallway, the bag still over my head. He threw my clothes onto the floor then closed the door.

I sunk to the ground shaking and clawing at the bag, panicking when I couldn’t tear it.

“Here let me help.”

Randy’s soft Tennessee voice soothed my jangled nerves as he ripped his sharp nails through the plastic. “Do you have somewhere to go?” He asked as he helped me to my feet. I shook my head no still gasping for breath.

He held out my pants to me. “You can come home with me if you like.”

“Thank you.” I winced the pill was wearing off and the pain that had been inflicted on me was starting to kick in.

He draped his arm round me supporting me as we walked down the stairs. He stopped at a small table and picked up two plain white envelopes. He pushed one into his pocket and handed me the other. “Here.” he said “You earned it.”

I stared dumfounded at the wad of bills inside it. “How much?” I stammered.

“$600.”

“For one night?”

“Believe me Jace, by the time that pill wears completely off it won’t be enough.”

***

“Well here we are, home sweet home” Justin switched the lights on. “Its not much but its warm, dry and clean.”

“Its great thanks.” I dropped my bag on the floor next to one of the two baggy chairs that almost filled the living room.

“I only got one bedroom but you can share with me till you get somewhere of your own.” He went over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of coke. “Want one?” He asked.

“Yeah thanks.”

He tossed the plastic bottle over to me and got himself one before flopping in one of the chairs and flipping on the TV. He blushed scarlet as gay pore filled the screen. “Oops sorry, forgot I was watching that.” I raised one eyebrow. “Research, when you are a male whore you need to know a few tricks.”

“Oh!” This time it was me that blushed.

“You should soak in the tub dude, it’s going to hurt like a bitch in a few hours. I know. Pearlman had me a couple of months back, he‘s a fucking animal.”

I lowered my self into the other empty chair, suppressing a small hiss of pain as my butt touched the soft cushion. “Are they all like him?”

Justin smiled. “No, the Senator is a real sweet man, I’m his piece of candy, of course his wife don’t know that he’s partial to Tennessee toffee.”

I giggled at his use of candy terminology, it quickly turned into a groan as my back began to throb, the drug in had ingested had all but worn off now and I was really beginning to hurt. Justin cocked his head concerned.

“I’ll run you a bath.” He got up and went into the small bathroom, turning on the faucet. “This tub is the only reason I took this dump, its huge and you can sink right in up to your neck.” He came back and reached out his hand to me. “Come on, I’ll help you.”

I kept my eyes closed leaning back in the comfortable chair. “Can’t move.” I moaned “hurts too much.”

I felt the softness of his hand take mine and he tugged at my arm. “I’ll help you.” I sighed and using all the energy I had left stood up letting him led me to the already full tub full of bubbles. He unbuttoned my shirt sliding it off my shoulders. He winced at the bright red raised welts across my chest and back, I unzipped my pants and let them pool round my ankles as I stepped out of them. Using Justin to steady myself I stepped down into the sunken bath, lowering myself tentatively into the hot water. Justin stripped of and climbed in after me. I hurt too much to be shocked or offended as he picked up a natural sponge and began to smooth soft suds over my abused body.

“Turn round I‘ll wash your back”

I moved round so my back was to his chest, I couldn’t help but sigh as he eased the soft sponge over my shoulders. I leaned back in his arms as he reached round me his hand slipping beneath the water cupping my throbbing balls in the velvet glove of his hand. My eyes drifted shut, I felt wanted, protected … safe.

I stirred and stretched, slowly opening my eyes. A feeling of disorientation and confusion flooded me, last thing I remembered was being in a bath of hot soapy water pressed against Justin’s hard body.

“Hey sleepy head.”

Justin was sitting cross-legged on and naked on the bed next to me gazing at me intensely.

“Hey to you too, how did I …?”

“I carried you, you’re really not heavy you know.”

I smiled and blushed “I guess not.” I wet my lips. “I’m sorry I fell asleep on you.”

“It don’t matter. You’re awake now.” I shifted uncomfortably under the blanket. “What’s wrong?” He asked concern once more on his face.

“Its nothing.” I whispered back.

“You in pain?”

I nodded slowly my bottom lip caught between my teeth, my balls felt like they were on fire.

“Let me see.” Before I could protest he had pulled back the blanket and had his face pressed almost into my groin as he examined the damage. “He twist them?”

Again I nodded my breathing increasing as he looked up my body with his amazing eyes. “I think they will be okay. They just need to be kissed better.” Before I knew what was happening his long wet tongue licked from under my sac lengthways over to the front. He sat up a wide grin on his face, his azure eyes filled with lust as he smacked his lips, savouring my flavour. “Mmmm, The taste of a man.” He breathed before he lowered his head once more repeating his previous action. Within minutes he had me writhing under his ministrations. He never laid a finger on me, just his very, very talented tongue, drawing figures of eight over my scolding hot balls, using it to push one then the other round before sucking one into his mouth, his tongue swirling, teasing, lapping at the sensitive underside of my now heavy sac.

Unable to stop myself I bucked my hips off the bed wanting to make it as easy as possible for him to access me, not wanting the sweet torture to stop. I felt him grin against my skin and he pinned me down.

Words started to tumble from my mouth, desperate pleas for him to engulf my cock, to suck me into oblivion.

Justin ignored them concentrating on my balls. They suddenly tightened and I came noisily, my cock not even being touched, shooting thick cum over my stomach and chest. I lay panting my eyes closed. When I opened them Justin was straddling me sucking my spilt seed into his mouth. He crawled up me wanton lust filling his eyes. He attacked my mouth forcing his tongue inside me, sharing the cum he had sucked up, I gagged slightly then relaxed into the mixed flavour of Justin and myself.

“Pretty boy.” He panted into my mouth. “Pretty boy.” He forced himself between my legs as he locked his fingers with mine, grinding into me, his thick solid cock thrusting into my hip. “Gonna fuck you.” He breathed as he let go of my fingers and grabbed my right leg hooking it over his shoulder.

I swear I purred with pleasure at the thought of this young stud nailing me without mercy. He rolled his hips and thrust.

I cried out as he slipped inside me with no problem. My breath was ragged in my chest as our sweat covered bodies glided over each other, writhing and pulsating as Justin proved it wasn’t just his tongue that was talented. The intensity of our love making was enormous as Justin never took those amazingly blue eyes of my face, he studied every _expression, listened intently to every sound I made, increasing his own excitement by knowing he was overwhelming me. I screamed again with the sweet explosion of climax, my ass contracted around him and he too surrendered to the ecstasy. He lay on top of me breathing heavily, pinning me to the mattress. I tried to shift under his weight.

“Lay still.” He demanded, so I did. He went to sleep on top of me. His beautiful face tucked under my chin.

It was late afternoon when I woke up, my body stiff and aching. Justin was nowhere to be seen, cautiously I got out of bed and padded into the bathroom, taking private time to relieve myself.

“That belongs to me now you know that don’t you?” I jumped not realising Justin had returned. He leaned in the doorway a lazy grin over his face. He looked stunning in tight black jeans and wife beater. He slinked across to me wrapping his arms round my waist and nuzzled my neck.

He dropped his hand down and gave me a gentle squeeze, “I only fuck what I want to own Jaycee.”

I leaned back happily in his arms. I don’t know what it was about him, but he made me feel secure. He brought his hand to my face turning it so he could reach my lips. He tasted of coffee and cream cheese as his marvellous tongue danced against my own.

“Bought you breakfast.” he murmured. Taking my hand he pulled me back into the living room where he had set up a low table between the two chairs, two steaming mugs of coffee and a plate of cream cheese bagels sat waiting. “I thought you’d be hungry after our earlier exercise.” I eyed the food hungrily I couldn’t remember the last time I had eaten something that hadn’t been thrown away by someone else.

“I’ll just put my pants on.”

“NO .. I mean why, there’s just you and me here JC, I like to look at you.” He flushed and lowered his eyes peering up at me through his thick lashes. I knew there and then that I would never be able to deny this boy anything. I sat in my chair naked as the day I was born eating bagels, and truthfully I couldn’t remember feeling happier.

“How did you end up in LA?”

I chewed my food thoroughly and swallowed before answering. “My parents disowned me, threw me out when they found out I was gay.”

Justin shrugged. “Shit happens, my mom did the same, only I was 14, I been here since. Underage party boys are always in demand.”

“Underage! You are underage?” I jumped to my feet panicking, oh fuck he was just a kid.

He laughed, his eyes crinkling up round the edges and I saw him for the first time as the boy he really was. “Cool it Jace, I’m nearly 16.”

“But … but … you’re … and I’m …!

“Josh you’re 18 I know you told me last night.” He got up and sidled over to me grasping my fingers from my mouth, stopping me from nervously biting my nails. He rubbed that delicious body over mine and I groaned as my cock responded. “Baby.” He whispered in my ear “In many ways I’m older than you, I been partying since I was 14 years old, I pay my own way in this life. I know you want me.” He squeezed my cock and I whimpered helplessly in his hands. “I’m going to possess you, own you, protect you.” He tilted his face into mine dragging his tongue over my lips.

This wasn’t a fifteen-year-old boy, this was a sex god sent to earth to torment me. I stood stiffly as he kissed down my chest , over my belly, dipping that powerful muscle he laughingly called a tongue into my navel before dropping those luscious lips onto the head of my cock, swirling the tip in the small beads of pre cum that was leaking out through the eye. he engulfed me and all I could do was fist his tight curls and succumb

We were stirred from sleep by the ringing of a phone, one mass of arms and legs entwined on the floor. Justin rummaged through his jeans pockets till he found the small silver cell.

“Sammy. Tonight yeah ok, 8 for 8.30 no problem. I want the same rate Sam or no deal. JC? I think I could find him.” I giggled and started to lick a trail down Justin’s spine. “He’s not fit to work tonight Sam, Lou really did a number on him. Ok if I can find him I’ll bring him, but no Lou, ok. Give him a soft touch.” I stopped licking him and listened to his side of the conversation my lips resting on his shoulder.

He hung up and tossed the phone on the floor. “ I gotta clean up.”

“Justin, why does he want to know where I am?”

“Someone at the party last night asked for you, he wants you to party again tonight.” Justin smiled at me sadly. “You don’t have to, I can earn enough to keep both of us.”

“No.. It’s ok. I’ll go.” Justin kissed me lovingly. “Lets take a bath.”

***

Another house towered above me and I shifted nervously from foot to foot as we waited for the door to open. I pushed my hand into my pocket playing with the small pill packet secreted there. “Relax baby, its just sex. I’ll be waiting for you at the end.”

The door opened “About fucking time Justin, I said eight thirty not quarter to nine. People get edgy when they don’t see my best turn up.” Sam snapped.

“Chill dude, I had to find out if JC was up for this again after you fed him to that fat fuck last night.” Justin pushed passed him his grin plastered firmly into place. “Who have I got?”

Sam nodded in the direction of a big grey haired guy in a black suite and glasses. “Robin Nialer, entrepreneur man with a fetish for little boys, you’re just his type.”

“I’ll get changed then.” Justin walked off towards the bathroom his backpack slung casually over his shoulder. He looked back at me and winked.

Sam draped his arm round my shoulder. “You ok?”

“Yeah, bit sore but I’m alright.”

“Good cus I got a nice easy one for you.” He turned me to face into the room. “Over by the window. Khussi Kashoggie, he’s a Japanese business man over here looking into opening a factory, manufacturing sneakers or something. Anyway he likes his boys’ pretty and feminine, bottoms only. Can you handle him?”

“I nodded “Yeah no problem.”

My mouth dropped open as Justin came out of the bathroom. He was resplendent in full catholic boys school uniform a pile of books tucked under his arm and a lollypop tucked in his mouth. “Can I join the party dad?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “You go way too far at times Randy.”

“Just introduce me as your 15 year old son, leave the rest to me.” He sucked his lolly pushing it into his cheek and drifted over to the hors-d’oeuvres table. He stuffed a dim-sin into his mouth as he passed by the greying man dropping one of his textbooks. He bent down picking it up making sure the guy got a good look at his ass before he draped himself over a chair opened his book and started reading, pulling the lollypop out of his mouth and swirling his tongue round the ball.

Nailer was practically cumming in his pants and made his way over to the sandy haired youth engaging him in conversation.

Sam gave me a gentle nudge towards the Japanese gentleman encouraging me to go join him at the window. I took a deep breath and walked over. An hour later I was in the bathroom swallowing my ‘little helper’ Justin had disappeared thirty minutes ago along with the grey haired entrepreneur. I came out and walked straight into Lou Pearlman. He grabbed my ass and pulled me close into him, rasping in my ear, slightly panicked I looked round for Sam, catching his eye. He excused himself from the gentleman he was talking to and came over.

“Lou, nice to see you again so soon.”

He shook the fat fucks hand, “JC is already busy, and lets find you a nice ripe party boy for tonight.” The overweight man was led away and I breathed with relief and made my way back to Mr Kashoggie.

We walked upstairs in silence, my hand encased in his; I was to be docile, and feminine. The hair on the back of my neck stood up as I felt Pearlman’s eyes crawling over my body. Shrugging the feeling away I followed obediently into one of the bedrooms.

Kashoggie made me sit on a chair with my eyes closed, I shuddered as he began to apply the make up to my eyes and lips, he smudged thick kohl under my lower lashes.

“Take off clothes please.”

I stood up and started to strip.

“Please to put on underwear.”

***

Justin burst out laughing as I described my evening with Mr Kashoggie; he rolled round on our bed, tears streaming from his eyes. “Underwear! Ladies underwear!”

“Its not funny Justin, he had me in drag.”

Justin wiped his eyes “Oh god and I thought my schoolboys act was strange. Hey would you wear it for me?”

“Only if you promise to lick my balls again till I cum.”

Justin crawled up the bed and over me, pressing me into the mattress. His mouth covered mine sliding slickly over my lips. He pulled away his mouth covered in the same red lipstick that I was wearing. He giggled and leaned down kissing my forehead. “ I like the kohl, it suits you.”

“Mmmm and that little boy act suited you.”

“You liked it?”

I smiled “It was kinda hot, makes me feel like a pervert but it was defiantly hot.”

Justin smiled that sexy lob-sided grin and ground his cock into my hip. “I’m the only pervert allowed in this bed honey. Now you take that sexy painted red mouth of yours and suck my cock.”

I slid down the bed and opened my mouth wide, closing my eyes as I reached down between my legs, tugging gently on my own engorged member. Justin moaned totally aroused, I licked my lips and purred. “Are you going to just watch me or are you going to fuck my mouth?”

My beautiful boy almost fell off the bed in his hurry to get inside my mouth, I dug my nails into his ass cheeks as he thrust in, I sucked hard, creating a strong vacuum, using my tongue on his shaft as he bobbed in and out. I pushed my finger deep into his tight opening, jabbing hard at his sweet spot, making him howl and shoot his full load down my throat. He pulled out, his cock limp.

“I love you JC.”

“I love you too baby.”

We curled up together surrounded in the $1200 dollars we had earned that night and slept.

Everyday was the same for us, during the day we would make wild passionate love and in the dark of night we would rut with Sam’s party guests. Most of the time we worked separately but Sam found a new little click of clients that wanted the two of us together, it made what we were doing slightly more bearable. Most of the time we could wipe out the fact that we were not alone, it was only when the client insisted on fucking one of us that we needed a little help.

We began to rely more and more on our little white helpers, but they didn’t seem to be working as good as they used to, so we graduated to stronger longer lasting ways of getting high, coke was the chosen experiment, And Sam was happy to provide it, he knew that it removed any inhibitions that we had, that made for happy punters. We began to rely on it; pretty soon we couldn’t function without it.

Justin snatched up the phone.

“Yo, JT here.”

I knew by the look on his face that it must be Sam.

Justin heaved a long sigh. “Ok, well be there in 20.” He hung up the phone. “Sam’s place 20 minutes the John wants both of us.”

I swore, cussing under my breath as I pulled my pants over my naked ass. “Did he say who?”

Justin shook his head. “Nah just to be there and to go in high, he’s sending a car and the coke.”

“He’d better not dock the money, he wants us high he can pay.” Justin giggled and jumped on top of me pressing me into the bed.

“We got time to make sure you’ll be nice and open.”

“What makes you think it’s going to be my ass being pumped?” I asked.

He laughed and ground his cock against my denim-clad groin. “They always want your ass. I hate watching them bastards fucking you, touching you, you’re mine.”

“Justin it’s my job.”

“I want you to stop.”

I started to laugh thinking he was joking. He grabbed my chin hard digging his fingers into my cheeks, forcing me to look up at him. I stopped laughing at the look of anger on his face.

“You think that’s funny Jaycee? I said I want you to stop, you tell Sam this is your last gig.” He released his grip. “I mean it JC.”

I was in shock, Justin was only just 16 and I was nearly 19 but he dominated me completely. “I can’t stop working Justin, it’s not fair, we need the money.”

“I can make more than enough on my own, I can support you. You tell Sam you aren’t fucking round no more.” He leaned down and kissed me forcefully, I hissed slightly as his teeth caught my lip. He licked where he had bit me, “Tell me you will stop baby.” He whispered.

“Ok I’ll stop.” I agreed only to appease him, later I’d talk to him, make him see sense.

A rap at our apartment door roused us from the battle that was going on between our eyes, one more hard kiss and he got off me and went to get the shit we were about to sniff up our noses.

The driver stood waiting while Justin cut four lines, he passed me a small piece of straw, making me go first. I snorted two lines and slumped back as the drug hit my system, giving me an instant buzz. I giggled as Justin took his hit.

The drive shuffled impatiently, waiting for us to get ourselves together. He ushered us out to the black limo, as we giggled together and began to make out. 15 minutes later we were in Sam’s crib.

We followed our pimp up to the bedroom. “Jc strip and get on the bed, Justin come here sit on this chair.”

I shrugged and did as he told me; it wasn’t unusual for us to be prepared by him. I felt a niggle of concern as Justin was cuffed by his right hand to a rail. Then Sam turned his attention to me. He made me lay on my belly and put my hands behind my back, cuffing them tightly together; he then looped a rope round my neck, securing it to the headboard. My legs were then split apart thick leather straps securing a metal pole between them.

“Okay boys be nice. You are getting double for this one. I’ll send him up.”

I worried my lip. Double, that wasn’t good, “Justin, I don’t like this.”

I could hear him pulling at the cuff on his wrist. “Its okay baby, I’m here, I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.” I heard the door open and Justin yelled, swearing loudly and pulling hard at his restraints.

I heard a smarmy snigger and a hand trailed down over my butt, a thick finger thrust into my opening and I whimpered as it was twisted hard.

“Get you fucking hands off him!” Justin sounded frantic. I tried to twist and see who was fingering me and received a vicious blow to the back of my head.

Lights exploded behind my eyes as my hair was fisted and my head pulled back till I thought my neck would break. “Calm yourself Justin, JC and me are old friends aren’t we sweetie.” My assailant licked down the side of my face.

“Lou!”

“That’s right baby.” his mocking tone cut through me. “You been avoiding me honey, and you promised that you would come see me again.” He twisted my head towards him making me cry out with pain. “Now why did you want to go lie to your sugar daddy?”

“Lou, don’t hurt me, please, I wasn’t avoiding you .. I wasn’t.” I couldn’t help but start to cry as his hands moved over me.

“Lying again JC, you have to be punished for that.”

“No, Lou .. No.!”

Justin’s screams joined my own as the strap cut across my ass cheeks, again and again it landed, leaving burning welts across my exposed flesh. I buried my face into the pillow, letting it muffle my screams, the strap landed between my shoulder blades, then across the back of my thighs, then it landed sharply on my lower back, every blow struck a different place, I cried out with every stroke not knowing where the next one would hit. I don’t know how long the beating lasted, all I know is the searing pain that consumed me.

Abruptly it was over and I felt his hands prising open my ass cheeks, I screamed again as he pressed the lighted end of his cigar against my opening, I was helpless in his hands as he tortured me without mercy, I could hear the desperate cries of Justin as he was forced to watch me being violated. All I could do was cry and beg for Lou to stop.

“I’m going to fuck you now.” He rasped. He pressed his short dick against my hole and I screamed again, as he touched the painful burn. “You’re too tight sweetie, maybe you need to be cut looser?”

Justin began to scream seeing what Lou was about to do to me. I felt the cold steel on my ass and I knew what he intended to do.

“LOU don’t, please don’t!” The pleas spilt form my mouth, he just laughed and pressed the blade against my anus.

I held my breath anticipating the cut of the razor edged steel, only to find myself being crushed by the huge weight of my attacker. I gasped for breath as Lou was rolled off me, finding myself in my lovers’ arms. He had used the tube of lube he kept in his back pocket to grease up his hand, sliding it out of the metal restraint with ease.

Justin littered my face with kisses, telling me that I was alright, that I was safe now. He untied me , unlocking the cuffs with the small silver key that hung on a hook by the bed. I clung to him, afraid to let go, afraid to look at what he had done. He just kissed me over and over promising that no one would ever hurt me again.

When I stopped shaking I opened my eyes and looked at the scene before me, Lou lay on his belly a knife wedged firmly between his shoulder blades.

“Oh Justin, baby, what have you done?”

Justin looked at me with tear heavy eyes “he was hurting you.”

“I know.”

“He shouldn’t have hurt you!”

I looked again at the fat bastard, laying prone across the bed, I checked his pulse, closing my eyes as I found no sign of life. I breathed deeply trying to slow my racing heart. “You need to go Justin.”

“No!” Justin grabbed me “I won’t leave without you.”

“Honey you have too, you have to run.”

“What about you?” Justin’s tears spilt down his face, he had killed for me, to protect me, now I had to protect him.

“The police will hunt you down sweetie, I’ll stay here shake them off your trail.”

“No, No Josh.”

I kissed him softly on his lips, he was so frightened, a little boy, for the first time since I had met him he showed the vulnerability that was inside him. Now I had to protect him. “Please Justin, go. I’ll be okay, don’t contact me, I’ll call you, Justin please do this for me.” He nodded numbly not comprehending how serious the situation was. He picked up his jacket and opened the bedroom door.

“You’ll be okay?” His azure blue eyes were edged with red.

“Yes.” I lied “Now go.” He nodded in response and hugged me tight to him, “I love you Josh.”

“I know baby, I know, I love you too.” I pushed him out the door closing it behind him. I slid down the door till I was squatting on the floor and I cried, I wasn’t going to get out of this, not if I kept Justin out of the equation. I fished in my jeans pocket and pulled out my cell.

“911 what is your emergency?”

“I just killed a man.” My fate was sealed.

They’ll be coming for me soon; I can hear their keys jangling as they walk towards my cell. I’m scared. I don’t want to die. So now you know how everything led to this sorry end, what a mess I made of my life. In 15 minutes my life will be over and with it ends this narrative.

EpilogueJoshua Chasez was led from his cell still wearing the bright orange prison clothes, his thin wrists confined in harsh steel cuffs that were connected to the shackles that encircled his ankles. He held his head up high determined not to show any fear as he was taken to the place of his execution.

The room and the bed was before him way too soon and his step faltered. He gulped as a guard uncovered the tray that contained the needles that would soon deliver the lethal cocktail of drugs into his blood stream.

“Sit on the bed.”

Numbly JC obeyed, the shackles and cuffs were removed and he was pushed down onto the firm plastic surface. His limbs were fastened to the metal frame and a thick webbed strap was buckled over his chest. He began to shake and he squeezed his eyes closed as the sharp points pierced his flesh, but still he didn’t cry the tears of grief and fear that he had held back for the two years he had been incarcerated on death row.

“Joshua Scott Chasez, by order of the state of California you have here by been sentenced to death by means of lethal injection for the wilful murder of Louis Pearlman. Do you want to say anything before the sentence is carried out?”

JC caught his bottom lip between his teeth and shook his head.

“Then may god have mercy on your soul.” Before he left the guard squeezed his hand and whispered softly. “I’ll make sure it gets into the right hands Jace, I promise.” Then he left the room leaving JC alone.

The brunette looked out the glass partition at the crowd of good people that had gathered to see him die as the first drug was released.

His eyes met a pair of sad crystalline azure blue orbs and locked tight with them. The soft pink lips below them were muttering over and over the same words. ‘I’m sorry.’

JC’s mouth spread slowly into a serene smile and he mouthed back ‘I forgive you, I love you.’ then his eyes fluttered shut, the second then third drugs were released and JC took his last breath his smile still on his face.

He had said goodbye.

Justin didn’t wait until the executioner had announced his lovers time of death, he ran from the room, his sobs hitching in his chest as he ran as fast as he could.

‘I forgive you, I love you.’

JC might have forgiven him but how could he ever forgive himself. He had run that day too, leaving Jace to take the blame for a murder he had committed, he was certain that the authorities would realise their mistake and let JC go. But the gracile man had confessed to the heinous crime to save his lovers life. Justin could only watch the news and read the newspaper reports, too scared to own up, letting JC be sentenced to death instead.

He wanted to stay away from the execution but found himself drawn back to his lover, needing to see him one last time, to tell him he was sorry. Justin walked slowly down the steps to the subway, tears blinding him, blearing his vision. He never wiped them away; he just let them fall unchecked down his face. He stood at the platform edge his eyes fixed on the track, all round him there were people talking and laughing, carrying on like nothing had happened. He could hear the train as it pulled into the station, coming closer and closer, its carriages echoing in the station. Placing his hand over his chest pocket checking his letter was still there he whispered ‘ I love you Josh as he toppled forward under the wheels.

“In the news, Joshua Chasez was put to death tonight for the murder of Louis Pearlman an entrepreneur from Orlando Florida. Chasez had been on death row for two years awaiting his execution, he had made no appeals. In a ironic twist of events, Justin Randall Timberlake a known drug addict and male prostitute threw himself under the wheels of a train in downtown La today. Detectives investigating the scene at Union Station discovered a suicide note that confessed to Pearlmans’ murder. Police have since confirmed that Timberlake’s fingerprints were indeed found on the knife used to kill Pearlman. A full investigation is expected to take place.”

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